


Dead men

by anaesthesia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Capital Punishment, Dark, Execution, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 00:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1367800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anaesthesia/pseuds/anaesthesia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Erwin Smith, Levi.<br/>You will be subjected to the highest penalty of all: death. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead men

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a masochist. I'm sorry.
> 
> Inspired by: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=42451087

The strong, blank voice of Darius Zacklay echoed through the court of law, muting every whisper. “Silence!” The heavy gavel hit three times on the wooden surface.

 

Every couple of eyes turned on the bearded man, hanging on his lips.

“The court has taken its decision.”

 

He cleared his throat, bringing his hand at his mouth, covering with it as he glanced at his papers leisurely. “Erwin Smith, Levi, whose last name is still unknown, you are impeached for high treason towards the Crown and Humanity. You will be subjected to the highest penalty of all: death. Your execution shall carry out tomorrow morning at 9:00. Dismissed.”

 

It wasn't a surprise. It was foreseen.

 

They were both standing still at the center of the room the whole time, eyeing Zacklay, the headmaster of the court.

 

No one had defended them.

 

Nile was watching them being tossed and violently guided back to the jail – or rather dungeon – with bitter eyes. He insisted to help them out but Erwin had tremendously declined. He had a family, kids and a wife. If he was going against the court and the Crown itself, the same fate was waiting for him.

 

The characteristic sound of their chains was being heard by every movement they were making. The cold material was too tight around their wrists and ankles, making their walk uneasy and difficult to be achieved. Short lines of silver chains were joining the cuff around the hands and ankles, heavy, pulling them down to the earth by every step.

 

Splits, profanities, screams, bald and acid statements were all expected. Both held their heads high, never flinching, never averting their gaze from the imaginary spot above their heads, close to the big door. They remained the composed Commander and Corporal all the members inside the court had met – proud and following their dream.

 

“I'm ready to sacrifice everything, Levi, in order to free humanity. Even myself.” Erwin had told him far too many times when Levi had questioned his aim, his motives.

 

“Words are easy to be spoken, Erwin, but it's difficult to be fulfilled. Don't speak as you're a God. Every man wish not to die.”

 

“Of course, I don't. But I'm willing to do anything to revenge my father's death. In a war there are always casualties, Levi. I might be one of them.”

 

Levi stood up from the chair he was sitting in front of Erwin's desk, slamming his hands on the wooden surface and leaning closer to the blonde.

 

“Don't act as if you're immortal. Every one fears death. Even you.”

 

Erwin smiled – a mildly wicked smirk across his features, faint and hiding too many secrets. “I'm not immortal, I can assure you. My one hand has already died. But responding to your last declaration; no. I don't fear death. A man already dead does not fear death himself, Levi.”

 

He was walking beside him, following his footsteps like every previous time, following his Commander.

 

The Erwin Smith he knew could not feel, could not love, could not hate, could not fear.

 

A dead man was marching towards his finale. Yet, a terrified bird was flying after him, afraid to die because he had much more to give, because he had learned to fight.

 

Suddenly, those chains were so heavy, so hot. They were burning him.

 

He must fight. He could. However, he followed his Commander as he always had, the feathers of his wings being ripped out one by one with every step, every moment passing by.

 

 

**~*~**

 

The stoned walls were cold, the humidity was piercing their bodies, sending shivers and cool knives through every bone of theirs. They were being held at different dungeons, next to each other, a mere wall separating them. Thin, silver beams of the moon were transfixing through the thick, iron rails of a hole at the peak of the right wall, enlightening dimly the darkness, just much to be able to see the center of the place.

 

He was leaning against the wall, seated on the filthy ground, his knees raised up close to his chest with their ankles crossed and his hands embracing the battered, not so anymore white pants. He breathed in the uncertainty of the future, the close end and the drowned dreams.

 

“Say, Levi...” He heard the man speaking from the other part of the wall. He was so close. He wanted to see his face for the last time together, alive. He wanted to touch him as he rarely did. In this moment he regreted all the times he did not; he didn't kiss him, hold him, embrace him, tell him things that had never escaped from his mouth. In a deadly moment like this he wished he could break the wall and fall into his arms and just disappear.

 

He only hummed in response as he tilted his head to the side, his ear touching the wall.

 

“Do you regret meeting me?” He asked. The tone of anxiety was strongly detected in his voice. A rare moment for Erwin Smith.

 

“No.” Simple, determinant – detrimental.

 

“I see...”

 

“Erwin,” the words were coming out of his mouth with difficulty due to the lack of water, “I won't regret it even when... when I'll stand up there.” He couldn't mutter those words. He didn't want to affirm his ending. No. Not, yet.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“I'm sorry, too.” It was a declaration of both parts of their presumptuous selves, their acted, mock powers, their belief that they could change the world.

 

“I'm not afraid to die, Levi. I'm afraid that you'll die.” There was a long pause again. The silence once again filling both of them.

 

“Damn it, Erwin....”

 

“I'm sorry, Levi. I didn't want things to end up like this. I'm sorry.” He spoke out full of repentance, every word coming out of his lips bitter.

 

“We'll be okay.” It was a lie to Erwin and to himself. He wanted to believe that they will be alright. “No matter what happens, I'll be with you. We'll be okay.” He repeated the sentence within his head as he could fool himself.

 

“I made terrible mistakes, I have sent so many innocent people to their deaths.” His voice was hoarse and low, pronouncing each word with great effort. “I think that's how I pay my decisions.” A dim laughter was being heard. He wasn't sure if Erwin was indeed laughing. He couldn't comprehend why. But a man whose hands were stained with the blood of hundred of women and men, was no longer a person, a human.

 

Furthermore, it wasn't the first time he acted so insanely.

 

“Why do you laugh?” He deadpanned.

 

“It's so tragic that is laughable.” The words were shattered between his laughter. He hadn't heard him laugh for awhile. It was reassuring, a dulcet melody lulling him to sleep. He closed his eyes and listened to his soft sounds.

 

“Have you ever wondered that comedy is pure, ultimate tragedy? Humans are the real monsters, Levi, not titans. We desire to see the other in pain just for our own mere recreation.”

 

“You're insane.”

 

“Maybe...”

 

They spent the rest of the night in silence, their breathing and soft beating of their hearts echoing through the empty, dark place. The cold for once being their friend, reminding them they were alive – just for now.

 

 

**~*~**

 

Their legs couldn't hold their weight anymore. It felt like they would fall on their knees in any minute.

 

They were walking – Erwin leading and Levi behind – through the small, underground corridors to the platform, handcuffed with chains around their wrists and ankles.

 

Nile was ushering them there and for once he felt sympathy towards the man. He was a good friend. He had mistaken him and accused him for a lot of things but he was grateful to see a familiar face among the horde of hyenas.

 

Soft, icy flurries were greeted them as soon as they stepped outside. The sun was not in sight as its place had taken thick, gray clouds; bombarding every one with their icy, tiny bombs.

 

It was cold. The mere white, thin shirt and pants were barely protecting him from the piercing, merciless enemy.

 

He smiled bitterly. _Why a man ready to die cared about being cold?, h_ e thought as he stared at the depressing sky. A fitting day, indeed. He thought, also, about all those days back at the underground when he ha fought against the severe cold, trying to find a shelter, a bare source of heat to warm himself.

 

Yet, now he wasn't threatened by it. He felt nostalgia. He wished he was back there.

 

Today they were walking their own Golgotha, holding not any cross but the burden of the lives of innumerably many and their broken oath.

 

After walking up the stairs they came to a halt. Both standing side by side they stared through the people who had come to witnessed their execution. They were today's spectacular of entertainment.

 

He could detect people smiling satisfied, awaiting their final breath. Others, simple citizens, were staring blankly at them. Some of them were even mourning. And then there was a small group of black capes with eyes glued on them, already wet and mortified.

 

_At least they lived..._ He thought, glad it was true. 

 

Nile was standing beside Erwin, eyes fixed on the audience, his stance straight with hands crossed behind his back – refusing to leave his military facade not even once. “Say hi to Mike.” Erwin turned his head the moment Nile turned his to glance at him , nodding in response. “Farewell, Erwin Smith.” And with that he was gone, walking towards the gallows for the preparations.

 

“It's a beautiful day.” He stated quietly, tilting his head to eye him.

 

“It's too cold, dumbass.” He retorted.

 

“It reminds me of the day I met you. Too cold and eerie peaceful.” He faked a smile.

 

Levi smirked dimly, taking a deep breath. “Is that so?”

 

“Yes. I'm not an honest man, Levi. I made bad choices which I have been regreting until now but not for meeting you.”

 

“I'm glad. Because I don't either. Erwin smith, you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You gave me hope and a dream to fight for. Thank you.”

 

A chuckle escaped from his lips, too short and too sour. “Thank you, Levi, for all you have done for me.”

 

He lifted slightly his hands, hitting him softly at his ribs with his elbow. “You don't have to thank me, big-oaf.”

 

Their eyes locked and after an seemingly eternity of sorrow and tears, they smiled – sincerely.

 

Erwin leaned closer, decreasing the space between them, as Levi rose on his naked toes. And simply as that they kissed – in the middle of the platform, in the middle of a sea full with starved sharks, moments away from their death, braving the death himself, the nonessential sayings of the society. It was brief but strong, lustful lips crashing together. So brief like their love yet so strong.

 

The moment they parted, a mere breath away from his lips, Erwin smiled again and whispered, “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Blondie.” He said, resting just for a little his head against his right shoulder, trying to touch the imaginary now rest part of his arm, long gone. Instead, Erwin as if he sensed his discomfort laced their fingers together, two fingers of his left hand tangled together with his own.

 

He looked stoic even at such moment, being until the end the commander he so good acted like. He wasn't a commander for Levi. No. He was Erwin Smith, a man with a dream, false hopes and dedicated to his cause with all his being. A great man for him, a monster for the rest.

 

He could smell his scent; sweat mixed with the slight fragrance of his cologne. He smelled security and familiarity.

 

Two soldiers of the Military Police came and dragged them to the gallows, separating them. He was being pushed forcefully towards the hanging rope, being humiliated even close his death.

 

He stopped in front of the rope, standing above the wooden square. He didn't believe in a God, he wasn't a religious man but he closed his eyes and prayed. He prayed for all this to be a big joke. He prayed he could open wide his wings of freedom and fly away from this living hell.

 

Once he opened his eyes he stared at the gray, dull sky. He remembered all the times he had fool around with Hanji, demanded all the cadets to clean the Scouting Legion's quarters not once but casually twice, the feeling of flying when he was using his 3d maneuver, the nights outside of the Walls staring at the free, starry sky...

 

The thick rope came around his neck, constricting his bones and flesh suffocatingly, making him hard to breath.

 

He glanced over at Erwin, watching him being tightened up just like him. As soon as he noticed him, he eyed him back, smiling reassuringly. His eyes being the sweetest drug, traveling him through the so promised sea, the infinitive blue he had told him stories about, the one they would meet after their victory. They reminded him the clear sky, the days he had spent with him in the fields, riding their horses carefree.

 

He had always founnd serenity in them.

 

He stared deeply in his blue abyss, capturing every hue of them, drinking them wholly –  _him._

 

He closed his eyes and wished when he would open them again – if he could – he would see them again, to see their burning lust, explosive passion to fight, to live.

 

He closed his eyes and breathed in the last of him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Kudos and comments are deeply appreaciated. ^_^


End file.
